Introduction to Part 2: What to Do About AAPI Work Stress

Read Part 1 here. Last week, I wrote about the unique challenges that can intertwine with work stress for Asian Americans. Specifically, I discussed the Model Minority Myth, the Bamboo Ceiling, and Microaggressions. What we need to examine next is what we do about work stress when we’re facing these additional, contextual stressors.

Why Work Stress is So…Normal!

Everyone complains about their jobs. Complaining about one’s job is the most ordinary response when someone asks, “How was your day?” Some of us complain more often and with more vehemence, which to me, signals a need to check in and see what’s really going on, but there’s no doubt that this is a common ritual. And of course, when co-workers get together, all they do is talk about work—the people they don’t like, the things they’re not paid to do but have to do, etc. I have to acknowledge this as somewhat universal and not necessarily a sign that you need to seriously reconfigure things in your life to address work stress. If venting to the people in your life is enough of a release on the pressure valve labeled “my job,” then have at it and move on. But here are some signs that work is impacting you a little bit more than it should: sleep disturbance, working more hours than the number of hours that are part of your contract, and feeling irritable much of the time. Another “tell” is when people start coping with substances, food, shopping, or binge-watching more than they used to.

The basic arrangement of work (i.e., doing what someone tells you to do for money) comes with some tension and frustration. Workers are inherently missing the control and autonomy they would have in other areas of their life. Any environment that reduces our control over the tasks we do and how we do them is likely going to cause some stress. If you add do that environment some common work stressors, such as unclear expectations, role ambiguity, excessive workload, inadequate resources and support, you’ve got the makings of what would feel like chaos for most reasonable people!

Why Work Stress is So…Stressful!

In a society that often glorifies achievement rather than vulnerability, there's an unfortunate stigma around admitting that you are having a hard time. When you’re having a hard time in the workplace, it can be kind of confusing because you may be able to easily name 10 people in your life who also complain about their jobs, and you may wonder if you should just “suck it up” and “get through it.” One of the things that I often run into in therapy is the difficulty of acknowledging just how much a job is impacting a person’s well-being because our internalized voices from society try to convince us that “work is not supposed to be fun” and “everyone has to put up with this.” To see the full extent of the toll your job takes on your mental health, you have to be willing to be brutally honest and vulnerable with yourself. There might be all kinds of reasons you’d rather avoid the topic altogether. For instance, it’s scary to admit that a well-paying job is making you miserable (which I know all too well from personal experience).

The other reason work is so stressful is that we don’t get to show up as our whole selves in the workplace, with our own, true needs and desires. Even at a workplace that prides itself on being progressive and supportive, there are limits on what you can say, what you can wear, what you can do, etc. Your time is not your own, even if the facade of freedom and personal choice is there in the form of “flex-time” or WFH. At the end of the day, you have to deliver something and prove that you spend your time in a productive way. So we can’t be fully ourselves, which can be emotionally draining, especially if we’re this version of ourselves for 40+ hours a week.

A Long-Term Strategy for Work Stress as an APIDA or Asian Diaspora Individual

There are many ways to cope with stress, anxiety, and low mood in the moment that I won’t explore in detail here. What this section covers instead is how to develop a long-term strategy for coping with work stress as an Asian American. I believe this is more important, as it’s about one’s mindset and approach, which can make a big difference in how one views work-related stressors as they ebb and flow.

1. Cultivate strong identities separate from your job or career.

   Engaging in activities outside of work that bring fulfillment and meaning is crucial to overall well-being. It’s a long-term strategy that buffers you from the vicissitudes of your job or career. Nurturing relationships within your family, among your friends, and in your community or neighborhood is one way of cultivating strong non-work identities. This is perhaps even more crucial when work stress is made worse by microaggressions or other racialized interactions in the workplace. If part of your struggle as an AAPI individual is that you work in a non-diverse environment, my first piece of advice would be to strengthen your relationships, particularly with members of your cultural, ethnic, or faith group, as much as possible. Your strong relationships outside of work will help you feel connected and resilient.

   In addition, hobbies and interests like painting, hiking, or learning a new language, can also help in building a multifaceted identity. If you don’t have any hobbies that you engage in regularly, you can take stock and see if some new areas need to be explored. In my experience, the biggest challenge is being intentional and setting aside time to do things that may seem unimportant when one feels stressed. However, it’s important to have experiences of learning and achievement outside of work.

2. Develop routines for managing your mental health.

   A key to long-term emotional resilience is regularly engaging in activities that help reduce stress and refresh the mind. Turning these activities into a routine help them have staying power as habits. An example of a good routine might be in the morning when a person does some journaling and meditating before they start their work day. Journaling and meditating may or may not be your cup of tea, which is why it’s important to explore what supports you and what you actually enjoy doing for yourself. Engaging in these rituals to support your mental health gives you a sense of control that work may not allow you to feel a lot of the time.

3. Position yourself to have the choice to leave your job.

   It’s not fun to be bound to a job because of a significant financial obligation. Again, one’s sense of control is greatly diminished in a job in the first place. When you add do that the belief of “I can’t leave this job because I need the money,” that can lead to feeling trapped, stuck, beholden (and these, in turn, can be triggers pointing to other traumas a person has experienced). Common examples include a mortgage or educational debt (I’m looking at you, folks who work in a thankless job in the public sector). Even if this plan is never realized, it’s important to ask yourself, “What would it take for me to be able to leave this job and weather a period of unemployment? How much money would I need for that?” In my experience, when clients are struggling with this dilemma, a lot of other questions become salient. For instance, if a person is trying to cope with a stressful job that pays well through buying nice things, then we might need to re-examine one’s most important values and whether that kind of spending aligns with those values or not. In other words, can some of your behaviors change in order to reflect your need to prioritize your well-being above all else?

Asian American Work Stress: Closing Thoughts

The Model Minority Myth can put pressure on Asian American workers to show up perfectly at their jobs and in their careers. This can lead to so many disadvantages in the workplace, as I wrote about in Part 1 of this series. The way we take care of ourselves in the midst of stressful work environments can make a huge difference in how we feel. If nothing else, I hope that you take away the idea that even in the most dire situations, we have some personal agency. We have some choices we can make for our own well-being.

As a Licensed Psychologist, I've witnessed the transformative power of therapy in addressing job-related stress, so I know change is possible even in the most dire of work circumstances. Effectively managing work stress and making career choices for our well-being are not just topics for people with mental health conditions. They’re serious considerations for unlocking your full potential in the professional realm.