K Drama About Mental Health #3: Just Between Lovers

Asian American Mental Health and K Dramas

Welcome back to this series about K Dramas and mental health. In this series, I reflect on dramas that prominently feature a mental health condition or a person struggling with mental health issues. In the last installment, I wrote about It’s Okay, That’s Love, which is about a psychiatrist who falls in love with a writer with mental health issues. I also previously wrote about Move to Heaven which is about an adolescent boy on the autism spectrum who struggles with grief and loss and connection.

Today, I’m sharing my thoughts on a K Drama I described recently to a friend as “a gut punch.” When I say this drama healed something in me, I’m not exaggerating. Something inside me got RE-ARRANGED. Maybe that was just dehydration because I cried so much. This drama took me on an emotional journey I’ll never forget: the trauma that moves into remembering, the remembering moving into grieving, the grieving moving into living and embracing life. Just typing this brings tears to my eyes. I am talking about the 2017 JTBC series Just Between Lovers, aka Rain or Shine, as it has sometimes been titled outside of Korea.

Summary of the Story

The story centers on Lee Kang Doo and Ha Moon Soo, two survivors of a tragic building collapse that occurred when they were young teenagers. Their survival after the collapse wasn’t easy. They were trapped under the many floors of the shopping mall that fell from above and the rubble made it impossible for them to get out. Like many traumatic events, this experience changes their lives forever. For Lee Kang Doo, an early adolescent boy who was once a promising athlete, the event is the first in a series of misfortunes in his life, including the death of his father. Over time, these traumas wear down his dreams and ambitions and his capacity to trust people. The drama introduces him as troubled loner, who works odd jobs and struggles with chronic pain from his injuries. For Ha Moon Soo, the young girl who survived but lost her younger sister during the collapse, her journey took on the urgency to correct past wrongs that is so common in trauma. She is introduced as an architect who appears composed on the outside but battles survivor's guilt and PTSD within.

Kang Doo and Moon Soo’s paths cross when they both become involved in a redevelopment project at the site of the collapse. As they work together, they slowly begin realizing they have this traumatic experience in common and are drawn closer and closer together.

A Real Historical and Collective Trauma in Korea

I have this vivid memory of being 15 years old and watching Korean news on TV with my mother the day a shopping mall in Seoul collapsed. This was the summer of 1995. Although I didn’t understand everything the news anchors were saying, the images being shown again and again were of a pink building that had the middle part just hollowed out. The collapse was caused by a structural failure in its construction and 502 people died.

If we were feeling shock and grief and anger on this side of the Pacific, I can't imagine what the feeling was in Korea. I know this event is seared into the memories of so many Koreans. When it was revealed the construction company cut corners and chose the wrong fittings for the structure, people felt it was tantamount to murder. The shopping mall collapse became a metaphor for the human cost of rapid economic development. 

A Deeply Emotional Viewing Experience

Here is what I loved most about this series. First, I have to tip my hat to Lee Joon Ho and Won Jin Ah, who both delivered really subtle and powerful performances as the main characters. Without their amazing talent, I don’t know that I would’ve cried as much as I did.

Safety. This drama knows it is taking on something heavy and resonant. It lets us know we’re in safe hands by first showing us a bathhouse. Water. Cleansing. Washing off things. Life and death. Rebirth. Renewal. The idea of using a cultural ritual like bathing at the public bathhouse is beautiful too.

Survivor’s Guilt. This occurs when those who survived a life-threatening or traumatic event feel guilty that others did not. Ha Moon Soo is kind of a classic case of this because she dedicates her life to making sure buildings don’t collapse (a little on the nose). I also thought the way Moon Soo’s survivor’s guilt shows up in her relationship with her mother who never moved on from losing her daughter was especially well done. Truly, a master class in family dynamics.

Realistic Portrayals of PTSD. If I were still teaching or supervising, I’d tell trainees to watch some clips from this show of symptom presentation. Both main characters struggle with intrusive memories and flashbacks. I especially appreciate Lee Kang Doo’s angry outbursts and social abrasiveness. Having worked as a clinician in a trauma clinic, I know firsthand how trauma survivors struggle to regulate their emotions because their central nervous systems are always bracing themselves for threats.

Please Watch and Cry

If you love K dramas like I do and need a good cry, this is the show for you. I know some people will find this a little heavy handed so it may not be everyone’s cup of tea. If you end up loving it, please let me know!