Life Transitions Counseling
Life Transitions Counseling: Who Can Benefit
A life transition refers to how we are coping with a period of change in our lives. For everyone, life is full of change, both positive and negative. Change is challenging because it demands things of us that we may not be used to, or, we may associate that experience with something bad that happened to us before (we call this trauma). Change often makes us let go of what is familiar and comfortable and can lead to a feeling of loss. Change can cause tremendous stress for us and our loved ones because we may not be equipped to navigate it in a confident or healthy way.
Some of the most common life transitions include:
Moving to a new home, town, or country
Changing jobs
Getting married or moving in with a partner
Retirement
A new medical diagnosis
Separation or divorce
Starting a caregiving role to a loved one
The death of a loved one
Life transitions often leave us feeling overwhelmed, chaotic, and out of control. Life transitions often increase anxiety or pile on to the anxiety we’re already struggling with. Alternatively, life transitions can increase risk for a depressive episode and leave a person feeling stuck in low mood and fatigue.
How Life Transitions Counseling Helps
When going through life transitions that are challenging, we often hear that old adage “It takes time.” This is true and yet, how long the adjustment period takes for each person can vary greatly. While we wait for the passing of time, we might be struggling with our mental health and our relationships and work may suffer as a result.
Development of Coping Skills and Routines
The most important aspect of getting through life transitions is by coping in helpful and positive ways. This is often where therapy begins for individuals struggling through a life transition. What many people overlook is that effective coping is unique for each person. Some people find that a movement routine (e.g., walking, dancing) is helpful in getting through difficult emotions and moods, while others find that journaling out their feelings is effective. It’s important that coping skills and routines be tailored to the individual’s interests and confidence level so that these tools are realistic and sustainable. Developing a reliable set of activities and skills to relax, soothe oneself, and reduce negative emotions is a good starting point for most people navigating life transitions.
A Deeper Understanding of What’s Being Triggered
After developing helpful coping skills and routines, there is usually deeper work to be done. For many people, there is a need to process the events that led to this life transition. For instance, the relationship that fell apart and led to a divorce is often an essential part of getting through the transition after separation. Depending on what has happened in one’s life, it may be useful to explore grief and loss, trauma, and beliefs one has about oneself. Life transitions are painful not just because they bring stress and change, but because they activate old insecurities and fears. For instance, a person who is starting their new dream job may find that in addition to the pride of landing the job, they are also facing their lifelong feelings of inadequacy.
Accepting One’s Emotions Without Judgment
Many people are confused when they are unhappy or distressed during a life transition. This tends to be more pronounced when people are experiencing positive changes, such as marriage. They may have thoughts such as:
“Maybe I wasn’t ready for this.”
“I’ve been wanting this for a long time so why am I not happy?”
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”
A big part of counseling for life transitions is becoming aware of one’s emotions and accepting them for what they are, rather than focusing on the idea that those emotions are bad or unacceptable. It’s not helpful to add shame to the difficult emotions you’re already experiencing so the goal would be to normalize difficult emotions and to start being honest with loved ones about how you’re really feeling.
Life Transitions Counseling: Conclusions
Life transitions happen to everyone. You’re not the only one having difficulty with adjusting to a life change, good or bad. Navigating life transitions with the help of a therapist can bring relief, new insight, better self-understanding. It can also support people who, out of anxiety or fear, may be on the brink of making big decisions to try to feel more in control. Life transitions counseling can help people develop effective and realistic coping skills to deal with day-to-day stress and negative emotions. In addition, it might be necessary to process the grief and loss associated with the change in your life. But the deeper work involves understanding what the change brings up for you that is unique to your lived experience.
Hi, I’m Chu Hui, aka Dr. Cha.
I provide life transitions counseling online to people in California, Texas, and outside the US.
By working with me, you’ll develop effective tools for coping with the transition so you can get some relief. I’ll also help you get to the heard of the matter by understanding what is coming up and why those things are getting triggered right now.
Read more about me here. If I seem to be a good fit for you, book a free consultation with me.
