Introduction to the Asian Expat Series: Exploring the World While Strengthening Our Identities
Making Sense of Life Outside the US as an Asian American Person
In August of 2023, I opened the New York Times app on my iPad one morning and was captivated by this article written by Korean American writer Euny Hong who now lives in Paris. At that time, it had been about two months since I returned from nomading around Europe for a year with my partner and cat (yes, you read that right). I was in a strange place at that moment. On the one hand, I was relieved to be staying in one home for a while. I was looking forward to nesting. On the other hand, I was kind of horrified to be back in the US. The things we take for granted about American life are stressful and aggressive. The US news cycle was made up of seemingly endless stories about heat waves, blackouts, and mass shootings. As I read Euny Hong’s article, I realized how healing my year outside of the US was, not just because it was so enriching to live in other places but also because I got a respite from America. The imperialism, the racism, the poverty, the right wing, anti-science and anti-intellectual insanity, the violence, the relentlessness of jobs and work. It’s my view that all Americans need this respite. And I understand that most of them will never get it.
Hong has the following observation about her experience as an Asian expat in Paris:
“France is not free of racism. But Paris does afford a person like me, occasionally, the chance to feel maybe I’m free of it, in ways that my experience in America rarely does.”
This resonated with me deeply. I realized as a young child that it doesn’t matter how good my English is in the US because what people focus on is my Asian face and skin color. Actually, when I think about my own limited experiences in France (actually only Paris), I’ve had more positive interactions with French people than I do with Americans in my everyday life. French people listen to my crude high school French with patience, make eye contact and smile, and at the very least pretend they’re not annoyed. (Maybe they think I don’t speak English and that ratchets up the sympathy?) Contrast that with going to the grocery store in the US, which is typically a series of unpleasant encounters with self-absorbed, rude people I know nothing about and yet am convinced have entirely the wrong idea about life. Given this perspective, you can imagine my confusion when I hear Americans talk about “rude French people.” I literally have no idea what they’re talking about. I just conclude that maybe they were dealing with burned out staff at the Eiffel Tower or something.
We in the Asian diaspora have complex, rich experiences when traveling and living globally. They are not all the same experiences. They depend on who we are: where our ancestral homes are in Asia, our level of acculturation to US norms, which generation we are as immigrants in the US, our individual interests and limitations. And they depend on the place we go to. For instance, I felt a lot better about being Asian in France than I did in Croatia. And yet, there are others who might have a really different experience in Croatia. That particular alchemy of person + environment can play out so differently for each of us.
Which brings me to this series on the Asian expat experience. Let’s start with an important disclaimer, which is that there’s so much I don’t know. But I am compelled by my curiosity and my desire to support others around these experiences. As a psychologist who specializes in Asian diaspora mental health and expat mental health, the intersection of these two worlds makes me feel seen and understood. My most ardent wish is to help other Asian expats feel this way. In this series, I intend to explore my own experiences and to digest and respond to the experiences of other Asian expats and travelers that have been documented. I am hoping to give space to a variety of perspectives, including the perspective of one Chinese Canadian expat, who finds that Europeans lag behind Canada in multicultural knowledge and acceptance.
The Rise in Anti-Asian Hate Crimes
2020 was the year our world was rocked by COVID-19. And that was the year that I didn’t go out alone in Sacramento for some months while anti-Asian violence and harassment were on the rise. Because of Trump’s racist comments about COVID being the “China virus,” people whose opinions used to be on the fringe felt comfortable being more honest about what they really think and feel, which was pretty terrible. I guess I believe that anti-Asian racism was always there but when a lot of the guardrails that prevented their expression went away (like basic politeness), I saw how nasty things could get and I didn’t want that to be my daily reality. While we were watching elderly Asian women get assaulted on the street in broad daylight on the nightly news, I was keenly aware that our Asian counterparts in Canada were not facing the same threat of violence. When I asked myself at that time if I could be safe in America because of my race, I didn’t know.
More Asians are intentionally choosing to NOT live in the US because of racism and social uncertainty. This ability to choose where you live is a very privileged and resourced one. I hope we can understand how these choices reflect greater challenges of being Asian in the West or in the US. Korean Americans are one particular group who are moving back to South Korea in greater numbers, citing race and racism as important factors in deciding to do so.
Articles In This Series
My Reckoning With Asianness in Japan. My personal story about studying abroad in Japan as a Korean American.
Reverse Immigration. Racism, quality of life, retirement, and professional opportunities are just some of the reasons Asians are returning to their ancestral homelands in Asia.
Interview With Biyang Wang, LCSW. An interview with my Chinese American colleague and therapist who has been an expat for many years and has a lot of wisdom on the subject.
Expat Mental Health Challenges. A summary of unique stressors and mental health challenges faced by expats and nomads.
Closing Reflections on the Asian Expat Series. This series was such a fun and engaging exploration for me and I share a couple thoughts as the series comes to an end.
Let’s Connect
If you’re an Asian diaspora person living or nomading in places you did not grow up, or if you’re an Asian American who has decided to live in Asia, I’d love to hear from you. Let me know where you are, how long you’ve been there, and what advice you have for other Asians living globally.