Asian American Work Stress: When Coming Back from Vacation Feels Like Hell

If you took some time off in December to see family, stay cozy with your cat (like I did), or go on a lovely non-peak season vacation (Europe is so much cheaper in the winter!), you may be dreading your return to reality. Not wanting to go back to work after a vacation is pretty normal but if you feel quite distressed about going back to your job after a vacation, it could be a sign that you need to start strategizing an exit. I was once at a job so terrible that I’d have trouble sleeping the night before returning from vacation because I was afraid of all the unread emails that awaited me. And as a licensed psychologist providing therapy to high-achieving Asian Americans, I’ve also heard it said too many times that returning to work is so stressful that the value of going on a vacation seems to get canceled out.

So if you’re feeling like you’d give almost anything to not go back to your job on January 2, here are some factors to consider as you assess the goodness of fit between you and your job long-term. It’s important to note that many studies on work suggest that job satisfaction is related to many factors and not just income.

1. Lack of Alignment with Values: Coming back to a job that doesn't align with your core values can feel like returning to a foreign country. If your personal and professional values aren't in sync, it's only natural that the return to your desk feels more like a return to a place you don't belong. An environment that consistently creates a sense of cognitive dissonance, or tension that arises from holding conflicting beliefs or behaviors, can lead to feelings of alienation and loneliness. If this is a big source of discomfort or stress in your job, it’s a good idea to explore alternatives and start to actively look for opportunities elsewhere.

2. Burnout: Burnout syndrome is a serious condition that requires deliberate efforts at recovery. One of the signs of burnout is feeling like time off from one’s job is not rejuvenating or re-energizing at all. If this is how you usually feel after taking time off, it could be a red flag that burnout is here. For more information about burnout, read my service page and article.

3. Mismatched Skill Set: Sometimes, the stress of returning to work can stem from feeling overwhelmed by tasks that don't tap into your strengths. If the job demands a great deal of skills you find very challenging, it might be the wrong ratio of easy to challenging for you. A mismatch between role and skillset can quickly become overwhelming, exhausting, and/or unfulfilling. Another way to understand this problem is that a mismatched skill set doesn’t allow you to leverage your full potential, which may impact professional and career growth, promotions, and raises and bonuses.

4. Toxic Work Environment: The atmosphere at work significantly impacts our well-being. If you’ve done the calculus in your head that confirms you indeed spend more time at work than anywhere else, you know that no matter your boundaries you can’t help but me affected by your work environment. If returning to the office feels like stepping back into a toxic environment, with unsupportive colleagues or a lack of collaboration, it's crucial to assess whether this environment is hindering your professional and personal growth— and what you can do about it. Sometimes navigating a toxic work environment means testing out some new or different boundaries, giving feedback to others in the environment, creating opportunities for WFH, moving teams or departments, or taking action regarding some key players (example: workplace bullies). It can also mean it’s time for you to go where you are better respected and taken care of.

5. Limited Growth Opportunities: A job that doesn't offer avenues for growth and development can lead to a sense of stagnation. If returning to work after a vacation feels like stepping back into the same old routine with no prospects for advancement, it's worth considering if your current job is helping you progress in your career.

If the stress of returning to work persists and seems to be more than just the usual adjustment period, it may be a signal that your current job warrants a closer examination. Reflect on these signs and consider whether they resonate with your experience. Your well-being and professional fulfillment are essential, and sometimes, acknowledging the signs can be the first step towards positive change.

For 2024, I’m wishing you clarity and balance in your work life.